


The Second Sexiest Man at SNL

by PyroStormisBae



Series: SNL the Season of Chost [1]
Category: Weekend Update (SNL)
Genre: Colin gets a little gay, Colin had a really good summer, Comedy RPF, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gay, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Michael needs to get his man, RPF, Scarlett is out of the picture, snl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:55:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29316717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PyroStormisBae/pseuds/PyroStormisBae
Summary: His eyes were closed with a script covering the top half of his face. As he mulled over the reasons why he still stayed at a job that was clearly driving him to an early death with alcohol and coworker related insomnia, one of those reasons opened the door. Colin couldn’t see Michael Che walk into the room, but he could tell it was him...
Relationships: Colin Jost/Michael Che, Michael Che & Colin Jost, Michael Che/Colin Jost
Series: SNL the Season of Chost [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2153439
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	The Second Sexiest Man at SNL

**Author's Note:**

> I’d like to remind the readers that SNL’s off-season is during the summer.  
> This was totally inspired by that Vanity Fair lie detector test video.

As usual, it had become a terribly busy Friday night at SNL. Especially since it was the first episode of the season. This meant that it was another headache filled nightmare for head-writer, Colin Jost, who was overseeing the last minute tweaks to sketch scripts while preparing for his segment ‘Weekend Update.’ In his office, Colin swore under his breath and whispered “I love my job. I just love my job” as he moved to slump down on his ancient couch, that he kept for sentimental reasons. In the brief moments of reprieve that he had before Saturday, Colin decided that he should at least lie down.

He laid on the couch with his eyes closed and a script covering the top half of his face. As he mulled over the reasons why he still stayed at a job that was clearly driving him to an early death with alcohol and coworker related insomnia, one of those reasons opened the door. Colin couldn’t see Michael Che walk into the room, but he could tell it was him by the soft way he closed the door and how he walked quietly towards the couch Colin was seemingly asleep on. Che’s moments of sweetness always made Colin feel like they were actually dating and not just work colleagues with amazing chemistry. These moments, albeit, came mostly when Michael thought Colin wouldn’t notice. However, more than half the time Colin was pretending to be unaware so that he could savor these quiet moments with Che.  
  
The couch dipped as Che’s weight filled the space above Colin’s head. Warm fingers brushed Colin’s creamy face, gently pushing the script off to the side. Colin willed himself not to blush. He briefly thought, like he did every sleep-deprived Friday night, that he should just take the chance to lift his head up and allow his lips to meet Che’s. However, it only took seconds of floundering mentally for Colin to smoosh his desires into the neat perfect personality he had crafted to mask his anxiety. The fingers lingered a bit just softly twirling Colin’s cottony brown hair. Che marveled at how soft his co-anchor’s hair was. Colin would never let Michael touch his hair like this when he’d styled it all pretty for the show, but boy did Michael just want to mess it up. Maybe mess it up by doing something not as innocent as just ruffling his colleague's hair.  
  
Michael drew his hand back and Colin immediately missed its warmth. Then Michael’s hand met Colin’s face with the force slightly harder than a friendly slap. Then Colin wished he’d never appreciated the gentle touch in the first place. Colin opened his eyes and looked up at Che who was grinning.  
Colin moaned “Ugh, Che. I almost thought my nightmare was still continuing when I saw your smug face hovering over me,” Colin rubbed his cheek and continued “and don’t go testing out your weird bedroom interests at work.” At that Michael laughed and said with a smirk “who says all the fun needs to stay in the bedroom when you sleep at the office?” Che punctuated the sentence by sliding a hand down to the cheek he had just slapped and said “now get your pasty ass up.”  
  
At that Colin’s heart thudded a bit too loud for comfort and he cursed his pale skin for definitely not being able to hide the blush creeping up his neck. For an instant Colin had thought that Che was suggesting that the _both of them_ could have fun at the office. The moment vanished, just like how his ex-wife Scarlett Johansson did over the summer on a cruise to the bermuda triangle that Colin had paid for but sadly couldn’t attend. Che looked at the slowly reddening face of his co-worker and thought that he may have gone too far. Michael could never tell when Colin would snap and because Che was that bad at reading emotions he drew his hand back. Che gave Jost a slight pat on the shoulder and said “well come on, man. Gotta test out those script edits” as he backed out of the open doorway.  
  
Colin frowned slightly as the giddiness he got from Michael, receded like the tide that probably washed a certain washed out actress out to sea. He shook his head to get rid of the image of Michael’s awkward smile as he left the room out of his mind. Colin could not figure out the reason the mood had shifted so quickly. In a flash, panic fluttered in his chest. His familiar friend anxiety swirled around in him like antifreeze in champaign at an Avengers’ movie release after-party. Colin felt more nauseous now as he wondered whether Michael may have gotten a hint as to how Colin felt towards him. A timer buzzed on his phone jerking him out of his thoughts and reminding him that he had a show to do tonight. Ever the professional, Colin grabbed the script off the couch and made his way to dress rehearsal.  
  
Half-way to dress rehearsal Colin realized that he had not changed into his tailored gun metal suit that he had chosen for that night’s show. He hadn’t even grabbed the matching dark blue and yellow striped tie. This season that tie felt like a lucky charm from his co-host since everything had miraculously gone just as planned over the summer.  
  
  
As Colin was about to make his way back to his office, the person holding first place for the sexiest man at SNL walked up to Colin in the backstage hallway running behind one of the main stage entrances. Kenan, the only man thicker than Michael, looked sympathetically at Colin and said “Oh hey man I appreciate that you are here today ready to start the season, but you don’t need to push yourself so hard already. Scarlett was a very special person and I was sorry to hear what happe-” but he was interrupted by Colin swiftly putting up his hand to stop him from talking. Kenan was a fine man, but he was nothing to Colin but some passing eye candy. “Uh-huh, uh yah man. Thanks. I don’t have time to chat right now. I’ll uh see you on stage,” Colin quickly said before briskly walking away to find Michael. Kenan was thicker than gravy on a buttermilk biscuit and he’d normally love to stare into those tasty chocolate brown eyes a bit longer, but Colin had to go get ready because the last thing he’d want is for Weekend Update to not go perfectly.

As he turned around from Kenan to make his way back to his office he immediately found himself face first in the broad chest of Michael Che.  
“Hey, watch where you’re going, you tall glass of cream cheese” Michael teased as he saw Colin glance down and separate himself from Michael.  
“Wait. Did you just look at my penis? Did you just look at my penis?” Michael joked in a mocking hysterical tone. Colin started giggling a little awkwardly before he denied the allegation.  
“No I didn’t.”  
“Yah didn’t?”  
Colin laughed a little harder in response and yelled incredulously “I didn’t!”  
“That’s a lie. I did not,” he continued with the inflections in his voice bobbing like a buoy in the tumultuous waters of the bermuda triangle. As Colin gasped, bending over with laughter, Michael said “did you look at my penis that time?”  
There was a pause before Colin conceded “yah, a little bit.”  
At that they both burst out laughing which took some time to die down to soft chuckles as both the men brought their gazes up to meet the others'. Blue eyes met dark brown ones dilated with lust.  
“I have a heart murmur” muttered Colin, feeling as if his old golfing weakness had hit him in the feelings part of his chest. Colin gulped dryly as he urged his thoughts to regain direction. He couldn’t seem to straighten out his thoughts when it came to Che so he blurted out “Um. In all fairness I’d let you see mine. Haaaaa- you know to make things even.” Shiiiiit. That was not a straightened out thought at all Colin cursed.  
  
In a second, Michael’s smile slid right off his face. The set line that creased the usually snarky and energetic man’s face was unsettling to Colin. He felt like a warming snowman with his pale skin moistening as he panicked. Colin wanted to bring that smile back to Che’s face. He was confused because he thought that Che and he were just joking like they usually did before the show. Colin wouldn’t be able to bear it if his other half, the one and only other current co-anchor of weekend update, was upset over a joke like this. Before Colin could properly spiral into his thoughts, Michael grabbed his hand and said “come on, man. We have a dress rehearsal to get to.”  
  
Michael dragged him all the way back to Colin’s office. Michael pulled them both into the room and swiftly locked the door. After hearing the door lock click into place Colin's eyes narrowed at Che before starting a sentence he never got to finish.  
“Michael. Um, why did you lock the door with _both_ of us in here. Only I need to chan-” Colin was cut off when his breath caught in his throat as Michael had swiftly grabbed the tie Colin wore on Update and threaded it through Colin’s collar.  
Colin was now close enough to Che that he could see the specks of stubble peppering Michael’s jawline. “Now stay still, Jost. I’m gonna tie this just tight enough for you. If you stay still, maybe I’ll give you something special,” Michael said a little too close to Colin’s ear than he would have liked. Just hearing the rumble of Michael’s usually crass voice speaking so sweetly, made him feel warm in just the right places.  
Colin was so distracted by the closeness of the other man that he almost didn’t hear what Michael said next, “So am I going to see the elusive white whale or what?”  
Colin looked at Che a little perplexed “What are you talking about, man?”  
As Che finished tying the tie he grabbed the end pulling Colin’s face upwards to meet his own gaze. Michael’s eyes were clear windows to his wants when Colin looked into them. Che made it apparent when he said “Well you need to get into those tight grey slacks for Update and you promised you’d make things fair. Think of it as getting two birds with one bone” Michael finished with a coy glance towards Colin’s pants. 

As Colin shrugged off his faded jeans, Michael exclaimed “now we really have an elephant in the room!”  
The joke was so abrupt that Colin choked a bit as he started to laugh then he said “How come you’re finally in a good mood now?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Your expression was a bit off earlier in the hallway” Colin said as he finished buttoning up his slacks and securing it with a belt. Michael dragged his gaze away from below Colin's waistline and caught Colin's worried eyes on him. Michael’s lips twitched into a slight smile and he said “Oh I'm sorry, man. I didn’t realize it looked like that. I was just trying to calm myself down because you were so aggravatingly dense, but cute, that I wanted to scoop you up right then and there.”  
Michael emphasized the statement by lifting Colin up into the air, ever so slightly off the ground and thumping him softly onto the couch. Michael kneeled on the floor looking up at Colin as he helped him lace up his suede shoes. Colin took advantage of Michael being focused on methodically lacing up his shoes, by staring at the heavy lidded man for an exceptionally long amount of time. Boy did Colin need to jump this man’s bones before someone else snatched him up. Colin did not want to have to go through the same work it took to resolve the Johannson situation again.  
  
After all, Michael Che wasn’t the second sexiest man at SNL for nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> I am also sorry this exists (^ _ ^) Yooo I support ScarJo fully so don't come after me for writing this lol. I dedicate this to my two beta readers who failed to stop me from writing rpf. Also you bet there will be a part two.


End file.
